Since we were little kids, we learned that actions are what the adults expect from us; "be a good boy and clean up your room," "be a good girl and do your homework." And when we do take on these actions, we are being seen and rewarded. So what do we do? We focus on actions.
Yes, for many of us, it is natural to be doers and focus on actions.
But is it the only way we show up? I believe some of us are DO-ers, and some of us are BE-ers.
In today's video and article, I will help you identify your inner tendency. Are you leaning towards doing or being? Are you a Do-er? Or a Be-er?
Are you the one mainly focusing on actions? You have a to-do list, plan all the time, and run fast. If that's you, you are a doer who focuses more on actions than your emotions or others' emotions. Who has time to talk or explore them? And maybe, at times, it can be easier to focus on work and, this way, avoid getting in touch with big emotions that are uncomfortable. If that's you, you are a Doer; this is your tendency.
And maybe this is you; you feel that your emotions lead you; whether it is a room filled with people or a 1:1 meeting, you can sense the energy in the room. At times it can feel too much, or it can feel that you must protect others or your emotions, and that might bring to lashing out. Having all emotions surrounding you requires you to take a break, breathe, recharge and maybe even recover, and at times even take a day off. If that's you, you are a Be-er who is led by your emotions.
And maybe this is you; your thoughts lead you. You feel like your peers know much more than you. And there is so much more that you can learn. You need to learn more and get more data; you need to hold on to action before you are sure you have enough information. This makes you an expert at what you do, and many people come for your advice. If this is you - you are led by your thoughts; you think before you act. You are Be-er led by thoughts.
Which one are you?
Are you being led by your actions, by your emotions, or by your thoughts?
You might respond: "Well, it depends on the situation." I agree you could show up differently in different situations, and the more aware we are, the more agile we are to show up in different ways. Still, we all have a tendency, and we lean toward this tendency when we are stressed or overwhelmed. Where do you go when you are stressed or overwhelmed? For example, when I am stressed, I will lean toward the actions first and check in with my emotions and thoughts. What is your tendency?
Is it bad?
No, doing is not better than being, and being is not better than doing. It is essential to create awareness and learn how to work with it with your leadership, especially when you are stressed, and learn how to work with peers, your leaders, and direct reports when you identify if they are do-ers or be-ers.
So what can you do or be when you learn your tendency?
If you are a Be-er, you will go first to your emotions or thoughts before moving to actions. The value in that is that in moments when the doers will go too quickly into action, you will slow them down and keep them from getting into trouble, even risk that is too big. Keep challenging the team by asking questions like:
Have you checked what people feel about this move?
Have you checked what you think about this move?
Have we collected enough data to move into action? What's missing?
How do you know that this is the right move?
On the other hand, it is also essential to move into action, and people can get frustrated if you slow them or the process to collect more data, learn more, or believe that we can't start because everyone is concerned about the change.
What can you do differently to avoid these blind spots?
Be-er feelings
Sometimes, you assume that everyone FEELS the same as you do. Each time I send my leader-be-ers who are led by emotions to go and have a conversation with people, they learn that many do not feel the same. Could it be that not everyone feels like you? Don't assume. Ask.
Could it be that you over-protect your team and can give them more work or opportunities? Ask, don't assume.
Recharge alone – you have a tendency to give. Take time to be alone and manage your energy.
Take a few moments in the morning, noon, and afternoon to ask yourself – how do I feel? What do I need? And listen to your needs.
BE-er Thoughts
- Yes, you are a Subject Matter Expert, and probably your team too – but at times, the overdoing of learning and diving costs you in being recognized. Until you think it is enough, someone else takes the lead (and risks) of doing it and receives the recognition.
- When is it going to be enough? It feels that no matter how much you learn, you want more data and more info. Stop and ask, "with the information I have, what the first step is I can take."
- If you can't move into action, find a doer, an accountability partner, or a coach that will ask you: What is the first step you can take with the information you have right now?
Doers
You like to run fast and don't like when people slow you down. But being slowed down or even stopped. It might be a sign for you to lean back and ask yourself:
Why am I being slowed down?
What information or data have I neglected to collect that I am being slowed down or stopped by others?
Collect the data your BE-ers challenge you to collect: the numbers, thoughts, and emotions you were missing. You love a good conversation, so go and talk with a few people and ask them direct questions that you feel so comfortable asking, like:
What are you concerned about?
What do you think I am ignoring right now?
Where can you challenge my thinking?
Remember, doing is not better than being, and being is not better than doing. We need those two energies to bring out the best in ourselves, our company, and our teams to thrive.
We need to challenge each other.
When the team or individuals lean toward emotions, we can invite digging more into data and action.
When the team is digging deep into the data and is slow on the action, it is time to ask: What is the first step we can take with the data we have right now?
And when the team is running too fast to action, we can challenge them to look at data they might have missed with emotions and numbers.
Diversity can come in different ways, and to help your organization, your team, and yourself to thrive, make sure you have both do-ers and be-ers with their emotions, thoughts, and actions to support each other. What is one step you can take to move forward with the information you have learned in this article and video?
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