The Change Formula (DoXBe^3=Change)

Why? Let me explain the parts of the formula I designed:

DOING aND BEING ENERGIES

I believe we all have two energies within:

The Doing Energy is the energy of actions, everything we need to do, the constant planning of moving forward – the just do it. 

 We all know how to do; we actually learned to focus on doing as kids when we heard the adults telling us: "Be a good boy clean up your room," or "be a good girl do your schoolwork." We learned early on that actions are what makes us seen as good, so we act. Let's face it; doers are the ones who are being seen, and mostly the ones who are promoted.

But! There is a certain point that actions alone are not working for us anymore.

This is where we need to pay attention to the Being Energy.

The Being energy consists of our mindset, emotions, thoughts, hopes, dreams, and concerns.

The Doing and Being energies don't compete with each other –– I see them as two energies that complete each other. Paying attention to the Being while doing create new actions that can take us up to the sky or slow us down, and even make us feel stuck. I like to explain that through sports. You can have two Tennis players with the same set of skills; the one who wins the game is the one that engages knows how to use to their advantage the being energy. They practice a mindset that manages non-serving thoughts and emotions and utilizes those that can help them win.

C H A N G E

Whether it is positive or negative, the deal with change is that change brings a flow of emotions and thoughts – why? The feelings and thoughts all come from the same inner want we have in a time of change – the need to redefine ourselves in the new situation or reality – we need clarity:

• Who am I going to be in this change?

• What will happen to me?

• What will happen to my organization?

• Am I going to lose?

• Am I going to win?

• Am I going to be forgotten?

• Am I going to be seen?

• Now there are expectations from me – what if I fail?

• Why do others leave? Should I be concerned?

• Why is there so much uncertainty and change? Does that mean that our organization/leadership is not stable enough?

• Is this time the change is going to be different?

• And for some, it is just a simple hope: maybe this will be the last change?

** Note – The same need to define ourselves in a new situation shows up when you are promoted from a team member to team lead when you get married or get divorced when you move to another country or start a new job.

Back to the formula round #2:

I found that the formula is a more straightforward tool to help teams and individuals redefine their way of being and doing in a time of change and what is missing for them to feel different.

So let's look at the formula again:

Do – our actions 

Be^3 – I broke the being energy into three main e’s

- emotions

• Do we experience negative emotions?

• Do we experience positive emotions?

• Do we feel overwhelmed with our feelings?

• Do we feel excited?

Our emotions impact our energy, thoughts, and mindset that will affect how we show up with our actions.

- expectations

• Our high or low expectations will influence our emotions and our actions.

- energy

• Is your energy is high or low?

  • Suppose your energy is high good news! You have momentum, and my recommendation for you is to go! Influence and inspire others to join your vision.

  • If your energy is low, you don't inspire. Inspiration comes from the phrase – in spirit, in light. When you don't inspire, you are missing the spark. Mostly it is because you lack connection and clarity with your purpose and vision, which makes it hard for people to follow or feel inspired by you. If you identify that this is your experience, ask help from your manager, a mentor, or a coach to better understand your why.

As with driving a car, each component in the formula –– from the gas handle to how much gas you have in the tank can impact how far the car can go. 

Back to the formula round #3:

Doing - When we push firmly with our actions, it doesn't mean that we will see the change we want faster. While we focus on activities, some people would feel that we run too fast; it could be that their emotions and/or expectations are not aligned with our vision, and therefore their energy is low. In this situation, the more people share the same energy, expectations, and emotions, the more chances they will slow us down. It will be helpful to address the Being of the system as I call it.

Being – when as a group of individuals we all share the same emotions about the change, we can move closer to drama or low energy, and this way, our ability to move into actions can be scarce.

When we understand the formula, it can create a language for us to share where we are and invite courageous conversations with each other.

Creating Awareness through Courageous Conversations:

People slow you down or trying to stop you when you lead a change? 
Invite a conversation to understand where they see a gap or have concerns, don't ignore their being energy.

Have you noticed most of the team thinking and slow to make decisions?
 This formula can give you the language and opportunity to invite the team to see that we are in our thoughts and being, and there is no much conversation to move to action.
A great place to start is asking the team: "What is one first step we can take with the data we already have?"

Have you noticed your team running fast, maybe even too quickly? Do you feel that it is hard for you to catch up with all the planning?
Take a moment to invite the team to lean back – doers don't like to slow down, but they like the invitation to take a moment and think through. Let me tell you a secret, even if it will be hard to admit - they love it, and I know because I am a doer ;-)

Remember, in each meeting and moment of the day, the room is filled with different emotions, thoughts, expectations, and energy; even from one meeting to another, you can find yourself being and doing differently.

To learn more about the change formula and how you can establish courageous conversations at your organization reach out to Noa Ronen. Noa enCourages leaders and their teams in companies that experience constant growth to challenge the way they think and communicate in the reality of constant change.

The Guide For Your New Reality @Covid-19 Era: #1 Working From Home With Kids

A few days ago, an executive with young children decided not to cancel our coaching call even though his kids were on his laps, while his wife was taking a conference call with clients in the home office. "I am sorry," he said, "it was the choice between canceling our call or the choice of taking the time with you to recover, get clarity and get your help preparing for a challenging conversation right after our call. So I decided to keep our session with my kids in the background - I hope you understand. I am really sorry." I do understand.

As a professional coach, I get to hear the two sides of the coin: how managers experience a situation and how employees experience it, and there is a lot of learning that I think is essential to share with you. I believe that not only our life is changing now, but it will also impact on how we do things afterward and how the "new normal" will look like when life "go back to normal." This is why I decided to create the SOS series of articles that can help you cope and get a new perspective on your work and life challenges in the covid-19 reality.

"I am sorry," 

So like many others, in the past few weeks, many of my clients shifted their calls with me or meeting in-person to remote calls from home. I see clients who need to share office space with their partner; I see clients who work from their living room next to their toddler's rug filled with toys, I see clients who have to talk with me while their kids are playing and asking them a question, or crying because they don't want to take a nap. An apology always follows the kids (or pets) interruptions. Don't they know I understand?

We Are in a Grace Period

If you are one of those parents that work from home, sharing the office with your partner, your pets, and your kids. Stop feeling that you need to apologize when your kids make noise or sit on your lap, or when you forgot to unmute yourself when you yelled at them to be quiet. Yes, before some of those behaviors were "unprofessional," but this is a time of grace. What do I mean by that? 

Most managers care. Most of my executives' clients care for their people. They take the time to think with me how they can help their people, how they can make sure their people feel supported, what is the best way to communicate with their people without being over-controlling, and even how they can create space for their people so they don't feel overwhelmed.

This IS a Time of Change

Do you feel not professional because your kids need attention and food rather than sitting all day long in front of their screens? This is not easy, but what if we reframe "not professional" and realize that part of our roles as parents is to be professional with our kids too? They need care, running outside, and even some structure. We feel that this is just a temporary situation. Still, I believe that the sentence: "This is how we do business" is breaking into little pieces and will challenge companies and organizations to listen to their people who will demand a new reality that will not go back to the old normal. Things will change after this change. Look around, all the "right" ways of doing things are fading, and suddenly almost everyone is okay with getting messy and moving processes fast to make things work even if not in a perfect way.

Here are a few steps you can take to help yourself or your team feel better about working from home with kids:

Managers:

1. Can You Imagine this? Many couples are sharing one office space with their partner who works too. It is not easy with babysitters or grandparents are out of the question. As one of my c-suite clients shared with me: "I have piles of dishes in my kitchen, piles of laundry, I didn't get to the supermarket, and after my workday ends I need to take care of the house, I am so tired and have no support system."

2. Reality check - I don't believe kids will go back to school this year, how long do you think kids can sit in front of the screens with no attention?

3. Let them know - don't assume your working parents think you understand, mostly they don't. So let them know.

4. Let them know again - Pick up the phone and ask how they are doing.

5. Design the new reality - ask your people what do they need. It is okay to ask for some structure, but make sure to design it in a way that works for both sides and that you have tangible steps.

6. Say Thank You - let them know you see they are making an effort.
   

Parents:

1. Stop apologizing and give yourself permission to be a parent - you are not alone; you didn't choose to work this way, nor have this reality.

2. Talk to your manager and find a win-win- if your manager didn't say anything and you feel like you should have a conversation, let them know that you need some understanding. Maybe there is a way for you to design together a flexible time that suits your personal needs and working goals.